I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
