my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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