Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just pee around me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
