Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
