i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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