Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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