After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm determined to sit on that face.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize