Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
