pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
worst night to have a conscience
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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