I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
