Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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