looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
