Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
