He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
