forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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