She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize