shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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