So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize