forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
