Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
