I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
