just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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