first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
