I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
