I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
