I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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