cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
