I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
