last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He? As in you personified your dick?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
