It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
