I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
