So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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