so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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