I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
