I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have post one night stand depression
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize