i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize