we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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