Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
