jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's shark week go big or go home
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
