u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
