Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
