found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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