first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am available for nakedness
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
