I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
