I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize