She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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