I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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