how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
