just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd cum for enchiladas.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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