It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
