what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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