So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
