i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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