i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
