do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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