i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
