he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
sex in a hospital.. check
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
