He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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