i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
