Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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