I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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